Hokey Pokey

Today’s Daily Prompt asked about a time you did a complete 180 on something…turned yourself around. Made me think of the hokey pokey…


Everyone’s done the hokey pokey, right? Altogether now!

Put your right foot in,
Put your right foot out,
Put your right foot in and shake it all about!
Do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around!
That’s what it’s all about!

Bringing up TMan and our journey into the world of ADHD has felt like a life size game of hokey pokey!

When he was 4 and 5 and in school and we struggled harder and harder with his active nature, his constant motion, his inability to control himself physically and emotionally, I had countless people mention ADHD. They suggested the ‘dreaded’ medication.

I was indignant – who were they to suggest they could diagnose my child? Isn’t that just something *other* parents use as an excuse to label their bad kids? Why would I put my kid on a medication that people get hooked on and abuse? I just needed to work harder, try harder, be a better parent, right?

I put my whole self in.

We had meetings at the school and put together a plan to help him succeed. We went to the doctor for testing. We took him to a pediatric therapy center for evaluation. Our doctor’s tests revealed ADHD. The therapist’s tests revealed ADHD and SPD (sensory processing disorder). Our doctor suggested meds but left it up to us to decide (he is very laid back in approach, and extremely knowledgeable – he is the doc that runs the about.pediatrics.com website so we know we are in good hands). We took him to therapy once a week instead.

For about 9 months we researched, and went to meetings, and therapy and had countless conversations and worked h-a-r-d to help TMan.

He still struggled. We still struggled.

I put my whole self out.

We called the doctor. Talked about our options again.

It was time to do the hokey pokey. Time to turn myself around.

Time to try helping him with medication. Time to put aside my indignence and pride and judgmental views. Time to make it about him and not me. After all….

That’s what it’s all about!

About Nana

Mom. Salesforce Architect. Runner. Artist. Writer. I am a Salesforce MVP Hall of Fame member. For more information on the Salesforce MVP community, visit: http://www.salesforce.com/mvp/ . Salesforce, Force, Force.com, Chatter, and others are trademarks of salesforce.com, inc. and are used here with permission.
This entry was posted in The Joy of Parenting, The Middleton, Thrice Exceptional and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Hokey Pokey

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  3. paulscribbles says:

    Great post about what is obviously a serious subject. I hope the dance goes well for you. Over here btw it’s the Hokey Kokey šŸ˜‰


    • Nana says:

      Hey Paul – thanks! It has gone very well! It’s a daily dance and many days all we do is ‘shake it all about’! But that’s what makes it fun! Hokey Kokey, huh? Love it!!

      My husband is a Virgo…this explains a lot! Thanks for stopping by!


      • paulscribbles says:

        You are very lucky to have a Virgo in your life and to be able to shake it all about every now and then:
        On a serious note I think your view of the situation you find yourself in is a wonderful take and I am sure whatever decisions you make they are always in the best interests of your child. Ultimately he will know he is loved and that’s what counts.


      • Nana says:

        Thanks – I really hope so!


      • paulscribbles says:

        I’m sure of it…and a Virgo remember šŸ˜‰


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  7. Great way to summarize something important and serious. Well said.


    • Nana says:

      Thanks! I still shake my head looking back at how adamant I was back then. I had made my mind about something of which I knew nothing about! I try to remind myself of that when I encounter people now who question our handling of our son and scoff at the medicine and even at ‘ADHD’ as a diagnosis. Tell myself ‘forgive them, they know not of which they speak!’ Thanks for stopping by!


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